Women get a lot of mixed messages when it comes to dating.
• Play hard to get; men like the chase. • Don’t play games; be confident, go after him. •
Uh… these approaches are pretty much polar opposites. So who’s got it right?
I’ve experimented with both. And truthfully, one approach doesn’t seem to be any more effective than the other in achieving relationship bliss. (Could it be my crop of men?!? Probably.)
The difference — which is an important one — is preserving your dignity. Putting up with no sh*t.
The early stages of dating is not the place to be magnanimous, tolerant, forgiving and sympathetic to bad behavior (at worst) — OR half-hearted behavior (at best).
Don’t get me wrong. There’s a time and a place for forgiveness and acceptance. A committed time. A loving place. That’s where those actions are imperative. But it needs to be mutual, for one, and given only when deserved.
If someone is interested in me, he’s going to have to drive. I won’t be a backseat driver in his pursuit of me. I won’t give him directions. I will not throw him a bone. (Cutthroat? Maybe. I make no apologies.)
Instead, I’m along for the ride. Granted, I may give him a few flirtatious clues along the way… but it’s not up to me to make advances. Show some drive and confidence, dude.
And if his effort leaves something to be desired, it’s time to move on. (I’m talking to you, meaningless texter who never sets up a date… I’m not interested in being your source of entertainment. I do not take you seriously.)
‘Cause guess what. Being confident doesn’t mean going after him. It’s knowing your worth, it’s preserving your dignity, it’s putting up with no sh*t.
Agree or disagree? Leave me a comment!