To the Boy I Really Like

Is this love at first sight?

Because something happened when we met. Something was there. Did you feel it? Did you feel my gaze upon you a few seconds too long; was the dawning of interest apparent on my face? The energy, the electricity, the draw… I wanted to spend another moment with you, a lot more moments. I tried to talk, to sound intelligent, to hide the birds taking flight inside. Did you find me awkward, or did you see through it? Did you realize?

I feel like I know you, like our souls know each other, and yet… my logical side insists I know nothing. And so, I want to know everything about you. What makes you tick. Your dreams, ambitions, likes, and dislikes. Your childhood. Your worldview. Most of all (or perhaps first of all), I want to know if you are single. (And straight.) And if you like me too.

Have our exchanges been only courteous? Or were we flirting? Onlookers may think otherwise, but in our souls’ secret language, I felt an undercurrent of meaning.

You probably don’t know this, but you’re just my type. Your calm, collected demeanor, your matter-of-fact delivery, the qualities of your voice. It speaks to me. It’s not deep, it’s not buttery, it’s not rich… it’s just soft and comfortable. Your voice is just right. It’s a voice I would want to hear for the rest of my life. To wrap myself up in its layers.

Now, I’m dreaming about the next time I see you. Of our eyes locking, our fingers brushing, of the moment when we realize that we feel the same way about each other. That there’s something beautiful and rare between us. And when we decide pursuing each other is worth the risk. Because a feeling like this doesn’t come around very often. Not very often at all.

Few people know this, but I can be very direct when I like someone. Sometimes I get rejected, and that’s OK. I get over it pretty fast. But the rest of the time, it results in something special — although, nothing’s proved permanent — yet. And sometimes the very thing a relationship needs to get off the ground is a push in the right direction. A signal it’s OK. Should I let you know it’s OK?

It can’t just be on my side. It’s not, right? Should I let you know it’s OK? Or am I crazy?

Love is a risky business. But there’s something about you. Something about this feeling. I think this is the start of something. There’s a future here. This feeling I having is stronger than intuition… it’s a premonition. It’s a sixth sense. I don’t know you very well, but I know this to be true: Something we will be.

TO BE CONTINUED