Awhile back, a potential contender came across my path online. He had goals and aspirations. He was attractive. He was the right age, had the right family, and we shared many things in common. It had potential.
We texted, FaceTimed, and eventually met up, casually, face to face, in a city neither of us lived in. But after that, I didn’t hear much from him.
I asked myself (and my bestie): What do you think? Do you think he’s into me?
And a few hours later…
Why hasn’t he texted me back yet? Why isn’t he making plans to see me again? Did I say something stupid? Does my butt look chubby in this outfit? WHAT DID I DO WRONG?
I obsessed about it for a while and felt down in the dumps. I theorized that it must be because I wasn’t skinny enough, or funny enough, or maybe he was only into brunettes with quiet laughs. Whatever the reason, he wasn’t into me.
But you know what I soon realized?
I WAS NOT INTO HIM EITHER.
OK, great. That’s a relief. But why, then, why was I so upset to be rejected? Did it have to do with my ego? Hmmmm…
Ladies, next time you get bummed out about that guy that isn’t flirting with you, rejected you, or just plain disappeared, ask yourself… what are you really upset about? Losing HIM, because he was amazing and everything you ever wanted and the perfect man for you? Or are you more upset that the relationship didn’t come to pass, failed, or because he was just not that into you?
Rules for overcoming rejection
- Take away the power that rejection has over you. We won’t be every man’s cup of tea. I could be one man’s dream girl and another man’s “she’s alright.” And that’s OK by me.
- Be honest with yourself. We single women are so obsessed with being liked that we don’t even think about whether or not WE LIKE THEM. He didn’t get your joke. He doesn’t pay the bill. He may be cute, but something doesn’t gel. Whatever it is, he’s not your lobster. So don’t worry.
Today, if a man catches my eye, I might make a move. They may decline or ignore that move a percentage of the time. But there will be a percentage that accept.
And there I will find my dream man.
Maybe I’ll be able to spot him from the top of a mountain (tehe).