When I think about all the time and emotional energy I wasted wondering and questioning why I guy I liked disappeared (or showed his true colors), "YOU DON'T NEED CLOSURE" is one of the things I wish I could tell my younger self. I now take this heart — I don’t need an explanation, I don’t need closure, and I certainly don’t need his excuses. It's unproductive, it tells me nothing, nor does it change what happened. Here's 6 reasons to stop asking for closure.
Category: Love
My observations in romance-related topics such as dating, being single, standards, intuition, vulnerability, break ups, and cheating.
“What’s Meant to Be, Will Be” — The Biggest Cop Out of All
Just take a look at Instagram: there it is, always in a pretty font: “What’s meant to be, will be.” I used to believe it, but here’s my beef: it inspires passivity, and it relieves a person of responsibility for their own human agency and actions. Let me explain.
How Did I Get Here, Love Edition: How I Evolved into the Empowered, Child-Free and Happy Woman I Am
If you’re new here, I’m a single, never-been-married woman in my mid-30s, who is traveling and dating around the world. Over the years, I’ve grown from verbally abusive relationships, infidelity, and body image issues, and I won’t settle for a relationship where there is dysfunctional behavior or treatment, a misalignment of values, or a lack of physical chemistry. How did I get here? I'll kick off this chapter with a quote by Rupi Kaur: "How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you..."
Dating Diary of a Single Nomad: The Three Most Frustrating Things I Keep Seeing from Men
I’ve been a nomad for over two years now, traveling the world and dating, and this is what I’ve found… · I meet more viable men while traveling abroad, compared to when I lived in one place or traveled full-time in the U.S. · Even with the capability to screen/filter, I meet more men I’m actually interested in in-real-life, vs. on dating apps · Even though I’m currently single, the fleeting connections I’ve experienced this year give me hope that I’ll find my future long-term partner out there in the world But a thriving dating life means I’ve also met some busters (in the wise words of TLC). From the (relatively) benign to the bad, these are the three types of “busters” I keep encountering over and over again on the nomad life...
I’m a Full-Time Solo Traveler: Do I Ever Get Lonely?
Loneliness. As a full-time nomad and solo traveler, I am asked about this often — so here's my long-winded answer: I have never felt deep isolation or prolonged loneliness... but what about *sustained* connections?
Why We Should Stop Looking for Soulmates
11 years ago, I traveled to Greece for the first time. It had been a few years since my verbally abusive relationship ended; but during that trip, I felt like I had finally healed and was ready to date again. I was also in my mid 20s, and starting to feel the pressures from society. When would I get engaged? Would I hit the milestones I was supposed to in the right time frame? Were we dating in vain, or was my partner going to propose? Now, in my mid-30s, my outlook on marriage and relationships has completely changed. I believe some people are only meant to stay in your life for a season, and that longevity is not the primary goal. I also discuss the sunk cost fallacy. Read on...
Letter to My Narcissistic Ex-Lover
I bought matching bracelets for us. I would’ve given yours to you, with a hug, a kiss, and a little inside joke: that I wanted to be the last girl to give you a bracelet at the beach. But you were cold, then hot again. You were salty and derisive, then sweet and complimentary. You [...]
I’m a Nomad, But No, I Won’t Consider a Long-Distance Relationship (+ Caveat)
I’ve spent the past six years largely single. I’ve been on too many first dates to count. I’ve had a couple brief romantic attachments. I even thought I was falling in love once or twice — that there was serious long-term potential — ready to go all-in. I’ve been over-the-moon in rose-colored bliss, and I’ve [...]
I Stay Hopeful For Love by Loving and Valuing Myself
On my worst days, especially after date after disappointing date, I think: "Will I ever find anyone to love again?" And hey, at least it's better than thinking, "Will anyone ever love ME?" I stop this thought in its tracks, and I remind myself: I will. I will find someone else to love... a person that will also love me. And it will likely be when I least expect it, in the wildest place, or under the most surprising circumstances. It only takes one… but there is not only one...
Ask Me Anything: Your Frequently Asked Questions About Nomad Life (USA Edition)
I'm officially one year in to nomad life, and I figured it was high time to compile answers to some of my readers' most frequently asked questions... about what brought me to this decision, how I'm traveling, what my job is, how I afford this, and dating on the road, to name a few.
Month #11 of Nomad Life is a Wrap: What I’ve Learned So Far
Today, Aug. 4, 2021, marks 11 months since I left Phoenix — sold my house, 99% of my things, and embraced a nomadic lifestyle. I figured there was no better time to summarize some of the learnings and lessons from these past 11 months than today. Using the categories on my website (travel, finance, career, and love) as a guide, read on...
Nomad Life Love Update: Understanding, The Highest Love
"When two people seek to understand each other, they build bridges of meaning. One person’s rope reaches out and ties up with the other person’s cable, and even while materially different, even while coming from different places, a link is formed. When we ask questions, when we listen, when we quietly absorb, when we seek to understand, when we empathize, we are showing people the highest love and most ultimate respect. A precursor, of course, to any budding courtship."
Online Dating Do’s and Don’ts: From a Single Woman in Her 30s
I don’t claim to be any kind of dating coach, but I do have some observations that perhaps you could either relate to (or learn from!).... and basically my number one PSA is: The mere act of expressing interest does not make someone interesting. ... And I don’t go out with people who have not interested me.
I’m in My 30s and Single — But ‘Looking’ I’m Not
I hate the question: “What are you looking for?” I also hate any derivative of: “Hang in there, you will find him." Because surprise surprise, I am not looking for a man. I’m not looking for ANY one...
How I Harnessed My Single Girl Power
I find myself reflecting, once in a blue moon, about how I’ve been largely single these last five years and what that has been like: half a decade making meals for one, without regular physical intimacy, holidays spent without a special someone, trips and photographs taken alone... And I’m wistful for a moment, because I want these things. I enjoy building a life with someone. Waking up together in the morning. Flirting, teasing, trusting. Loving and investing, with my whole heart. And then I remember...
I Can Get Any Guy I Want
Boastful, you say? I can get any guy I want... but the emphasis is on “I want.” I'm looking for the relationship I deserve with the man I want — and ignoring all others — because when someone shows me who they are, I believe them.
A Tale of Two Men: An Online Dating Story
When it comes to a high-value potential mate, don't put up barriers. Don't force. And don't fast-forward. A natural progression is under-appreciated. (A true story.)
Calling Me ‘Marriage Material’ Is Not a Compliment
Just recently, in a Facebook group discussion, I was called "marriage material." By a rando stranger reacting to my financial successes. And, being the straightforward and direct person that I am, I politely replied, “I’m sure you mean well, but that isn’t a compliment." Allow me to state my case...
My Promise to Myself: To Speak Up for What I Deserve
This is a growing year. I am doing a lot of things that I never thought possible. And I’ve decided, sort of unintentionally —that I am going to finally speak up for what I deserve in dating. I will not lower my standards for anyone, anytime, under any circumstances, and I will not let bad behavior go unaddressed. Case in point...
An Open Letter to the Local Men I Meet During Nomad Life
I don’t believe in long distance relationships. A satisfying relationship requires two bodies in the same room, in addition to things like shared interests and goals. Looking into each other’s eyes not through a screen. Being able to reach out and touch one another, instead of longing to someday soon feel their touch. I think most people who’ve been in long distance relationships would agree. However, the traditional implication is that these two people are separate, stationary, and confined by their geography. But... What if one of them is not?
