Just recently, in a Facebook group discussion, I was called "marriage material." By a rando stranger reacting to my financial successes. And, being the straightforward and direct person that I am, I politely replied, “I’m sure you mean well, but that isn’t a compliment." Allow me to state my case...
This is a growing year. I am doing a lot of things that I never thought possible. And I’ve decided, sort of unintentionally —that I am going to finally speak up for what I deserve in dating. I will not lower my standards for anyone, anytime, under any circumstances, and I will not let bad behavior go unaddressed. Case in point...
I don’t believe in long distance relationships. A satisfying relationship requires two bodies in the same room, in addition to things like shared interests and goals. Looking into each other’s eyes not through a screen. Being able to reach out and touch one another, instead of longing to someday soon feel their touch. I think most people who’ve been in long distance relationships would agree. However, the traditional implication is that these two people are separate, stationary, and confined by their geography. But... What if one of them is not?
Insecurity kills attraction, but vulnerability can build it. Know the difference. (Just take these two IRL examples from Julie's dating life.)
Dear impressionable 20-somethings: DON'T get married just because you’re “supposed to" or "it's time." Don’t choose your career on “suitability,” choose a CALLING. Forget the things that'll make you look rich, INVEST in what truly enriches your life. Let everything you do be best for you; for now or for later, and for the betterment of what really matters in this life.
As I see many of my friends, acquaintances, and connections getting laid off, taking mandated furloughs, or receiving pay cuts, I just wanted to leave this here: Your employment status does not define you, and your salary does not equal your value. What does define you? A willingness to embrace change and adapt. Generosity of time, heart and spirit. Persistence and determination. A desire for personal growth and betterment. Humility. Appreciation for the gifts you do have in life. Because, this:
As isolated people look to connect in quarantine, should we take a cue from “Love is Blind”? Maybe... but that will only get us so far.
A married man tried to set up a date with me during a business trip, and I learned he was married through some simple social media investigative work. So guess what. I screenshot that and slid into his wife's DMs.
My theory: when I'm traveling — because I live elsewhere — my perceived unavailability makes me more attractive. The opposite is true at home.
"Friends first." It can work, and has worked for many couples. But it can also be a trap. (A true story.)